Jokes/Notes
Why am I up here talking to you? Yes, good, I’ve been thinking about it too.
Because the whole performance thing is hard to wrap my head around. Oh and my head. My head isn’t bigger than my body for starters, I’ve heard that having a bigger head looks better on camera. Proportions or something, like, they want more face less body space. It’s not just my head.
My voice also comes out of my throat a lot, especially when I’m excited. Or nervous, which happens. ALSO, the voice is made in the throat right so it should come out there, but apparently there is a chest and a head voice and I do a lot of HmmmmMMMMMMMmm PAUSE in singing classes which I am now taking so I can be able to better sing the song Memory from the musical cats obviously…I want to nail that TOUCH ME ITS SO EASY TO LEAVE ME bit. Maybe more HMmmmMMMMMMMMm Oh and Ming Mung Maaaa… Notice a difference? More compelling ? PAUSE am I cate Blanchett or mindy Kahling, PAUSE my singing teacher says RELAX. Because he doesn’t know what else to say.
SKIN. AUSSIE my skin isn’t Margo. Margot Robbie say “You got to have good skin” SKIN GOOD SKIN in her aussie accented mouth surrounded by perfect skin. PAUSE The amount of creams I put on each night has led me to singleness because I just want to be able to, at night, lay In my creams… and not have anyone touch me. PAUSE I’m actually just dating my future skin.
Oh I didn’t get an MFA . No no no, I got an MBA PAUSE and pretended I cared through most of the whole thing, which counts for something maybe. And ya, I haven’t done a full play play ever PAUSE, I have done a lot of clapping inside a theater because I DO believe in fairies. What’s that, you do not believe in fairies. You know Every time someone says I do not believe in fairies, somewhere there’s a fairy that falls down dead. I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRES...then Julia Roberts pretends to die and robin Williams claps like this. I clap like that too, out of respect.
Maybe I’m overthinking this whole why am I up here? the inner artist of me is very Agador Sparticus from the birdcage like….ARMOND why won’t you let me be in the show, are you afraid of my wahtamalinas, my watimalinas my natural heat, you’re afraid I’m too primitive for your little estrogen rockets…
Am I afraid of my heat??? I don’t want to be afraid of my heat. I am not afraid of my Agado, I can’t feel temperature with the amount of protective lotions I put on, my head is an appropriate size and I can butter my voice with humming,
The world has changed, I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the great rings, three were given to the elves, imm…..OH TIME? Sorry i can’t hear you above the theme. The theme is so loud….
I’m kidding, WHERE WE ARE GOING, WE DONT NEED THEMES.
