I miss acting.

Oh how I enjoy it. I enjoy the fight to find a truthful moment. Once I memorize the lines, there is this ongoing battle to try and make them sound like they are my own. And then make them all string together with a motivation, a reason for saying them, a purpose. It’s fun to see it actually work in the scene, to feel like, for a spilt second, i actually am someone else with a different life and a different reason for existing. And then they yell CUT and i come back to real life. And there is a rush of “wow I really made something out of nothing!” Since acting is painting with human emotions. Or playing melodies that react with other melodies and hopefully there is a duet formed. 

Acting is also very lovely because you can tell when it’s bad. The medium of it awards goodness and shines light on phoniness which I very much appreciate. We can hide behind so many curtains in this world, playing the smokes and mirrors like the wizard in wizard of Oz. But with acting, either you feel it and the story is delivered in the moment or it dies on the vine. And they yell CUT. And you hope for another take.